Are you a Warrior or a Worrier (Or a Whiner?)

By David  Wagner, originally published on davidwagner.dom 

I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to do this – but I want to share a section from my men’s book BACKBONE.  It’s a book for men, but this section is for everyone, in fact, this section will be the basis for what I’m teaching at The Whole Man Intensive at Hollyhock this Fall. So, without further ado… here is the first bit of my chapter on “The Warrior” archetype.


Once we have our King in place, once we have a good sense of our purpose in life, once we have our mission, we need some serious masculine power to make it all happen. We need balls to support our backbone. That’s the role of our inner Warrior. The Warrior is the innate power every man has inside to get shit done, move forward, and stand up to challenges. The Warrior is the part of us that faces and defeats our inner enemies and outer obstacles. It’s the inner Warrior’s job to protect, serve, and make sure our mission happens. It is the Warrior that is charged with protecting the vision of the King and bringing that vision into reality, no matter how hard it is.

Most men today need more Warrior energy. Even typically ‘tough’ men or men with combat-oriented jobs need to tune up this aspect of their inner power. In general, men today have become passive. Many men are passive physically – modern life doesn’t require us to do much with our bodies anymore. This same passivity shows up on an inner level too. We give up too many victories to our fears and weaknesses. We’ve lost the ability to stand our ground and fight the battles we need to fight; we let our life push us around.



Instead of Warriors we have become worriers. When we don’t face actual challenges in our outer life, we get consumed by the ‘could be’ and ‘what if’ challenges in our head. If there’s something off in our life, we worry about it. We fret about it and hope it doesn’t get worse. It’s as if we can see a potential enemy approaching in the distance but respond by sitting there and hoping he doesn’t arrive too soon. Warriors don’t worry, they act. They ride out to meet the potential enemy and size him up. The Warrior tells the enemy to stop approaching, and if he doesn’t halt, the Warrior stops him. Men without strong inner Warrior energy don’t know how to set boundaries. They allow way too much bullshit into their life. Getting your inner Warrior is about getting out of your head and into your body. Out of the fantasy and into reality. Out of thinking about problems and into solving, attacking, and defeating problems.


Instead of Warriors we have become strugglers. Somewhere we have been led to believe that life is about constant struggle. You hear of men who struggle with a weight problem, depression, or their finances. You can struggle for a long time and there’s no promise of relief. If we are strugglers, we were probably raised by strugglers that taught us that struggling is normal. Warriors don’t struggle, they fight with everything they’ve got. They fight with excellence and masterful skill; they will win or lose. If a Warrior loses, he retreats, retrains, retools, and fights again with all he’s got. He fights until he is triumphant. Too many men today have lost this sense of triumph. Finding your inner Warrior is about learning to fight for a triumphant life.


Instead of Warriors we have become whiners. When our worrying and avoiding and struggling fail and we’re actually faced with a challenge, we roll over and take it while we whine about it. When that enemy that we were worrying about gets to our village, we just go and get him some water, let him raid the village while we bitch and complain that it’s not fair. The Warrior doesn’t whine. He doesn’t just talk about what he’s gonna do or what he should do. He either does it, or he doesn’t. In general the Warrior has less to complain about because he doesn’t let the enemy get too close to begin with. He takes charge of his life and knows how to set and defend his boundaries.


There’s more to the chapter – I suggest you get the book and read it (of course I do). But this will give you a good running start.




David Wagner

David H Wagner is a master meditation teacher, proud father, and men’s coach who has been helping people transform their consciousness and improve their lives for over 20 years. He serves on the faculties of YogaGlo, Kripalu and Omega institutes and is the author of several books including Backbone, the Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose Passion and Power and the The Whole Man Code.

Feature Image: Milo Theemes

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