This week I gave several interviews and was asked a similar question each time: “Why does attraction diminish as we are getting further into a relationship?“
The answer to this question has several parts, many of which have to do with relational dynamics, logistics, and psychological considerations. But the single most important part has to do with what we call “Erotic Friction”, a translation of a Sanskrit term from my lineage of Kashmiri Shaivism.
This topic comes up often – whether it’s keeping the passion hot in an existing relationship, or understanding the dynamic of attraction that creates the spark when looking for a partner or with someone new. Continue reading Why Does Attraction Diminish?→
The mother could not let her son go. As he moved around the room, she followed him, always trying to maintain the same distance and orientation to him, standing about 3 feet in front of him and watching his face. This was very uncomfortable for him, and he kept trying to get away from her. “Leave me alone,” he said.
“This is being a mother,” she said. “No other place or distance would be right. If I’m anywhere else, I’m not his mother.”
This strangely transparent conversation was taking place within a healing modality called “Family Constellations,” or “Systemic Constellations.”
Constellation Work, the experience of placing people or objects into space to represent parts of an issue or family, and then exploring what develops between these representations once they are placed, initially seems like it might be a little strange. People unfamiliar with constellation work seem to think it might be sort of like casting bones or telling fortunes, not realizing that all of the parts being located in the constellation space, sometimes called “the knowing field,” have previously only existed in relationship to one another inside someone’s brain, in non-conscious awareness. As the work progresses, what was previously only held inside, in a frozen state, becomes available to both external vision and to change. Continue reading How to use Constellation Work to Gain Traction and Invite Change→
“The goal of our life is…to bring more love and truth into the world. We marry to assist each other in this process.” – Leo Tolstoy
My husband and I represent what sometimes seems to be a dying breed—a long-term, happily married couple. Life partners for 39 years, it keeps getting better. To be clear, we have experienced many of the challenges that most couples face. We navigated the rocky terrain of raising three children, faced serious health challenges, stumbled our way through issues of sexuality and attractions to others, dealt with two careers and traveling for work, and negotiated significant differences in energy and style.
Mention tantra, and you’ll probably get the response that having sex for seven hours sounds really unappealing—as mythologized by an off-hand Sting quote from 1990 that still dominates the entire conversation about this ancient practice. So, what exactly is tantra? We were surprised to find that it’s not actually about sex at all—or specifically, not at all about sexual technique. It’s really about the bedrock of intimacy—and re-establishing sexual polarity, or in laymen terms, sexual tension. As Michaela Boehm, who lectures and teaches seminars about the subject, explains, “Many of the couples who come to me have stopped having sex altogether—it’s really about the building the basics of intimacy, of opening our eyes.” More thoughts from Michaela below. Continue reading An Introduction to Tantra→
A retreat for couples who want to move beyond the existing boundaries of what seems possible in their primary relationship, into greater intimacy, spiritual connection, and joy. The potential magic and aliveness of our loving connection is too often lost in deadening habits and the pressures of daily life. By embracing our relationship as a vehicle for our own awakening, and by learning the attitudes, skills and practices of conscious relationship, our love and partnership can be rekindled and profoundly deepened.
Judith and Robert weave a safe yet intensive experiential journey of transformation, working with practices of
Most couples experience breakthroughs into deeper intimate connection, healing old wounds, and learning new skills to support their ongoing path of relationship. Suitable for old & new couples, those in love and those in need of healing. Same-sex couples warmly welcomed.